Ten Things to Accomplish Before Dying

I amused myself today. I was rereading an old journal and got to the part where I wrote the ten things I wanted to accomplish before dying. The journal entry is dated June 24th, 2002. I was nineteen then. Twenty-one now, it amused me that at nineteen I should think I knew what I wanted in life. It also amused me that two years has passed and I still have not accomplished even one of those goals.

Tenth on that list is get a tattoo. I do still want a tattoo until now. And I know exactly on which part of my body I want it. I still could not think of any particular design, though. But if I do get a tattoo, I do know I want to give it a Sylvia Plath slash J.D. Salinger feel. Whatever exactly that is I still have to come up with.

Ninth on the list is donate to charity. I believe I remember why I thought of this. I saw a documentary shown during our Social Science class (yes, that Social Science class) and it somehow touched a nerve. It was about children being made to work to pay the debts of their ancestors. With all the work they do, it’s becoming impossible for them to go to school and develop the necessary skills so they can have better jobs, earn more, and pay the debts they were told were for them to pay. In short, they’ll never be able to move an inch in life, not even their children, or their grandchildren. The very thought pissed me off a lot, which is why I want to, in any way, do something that could improve that type of situation. Sadly, I am one that needs improvement as well, so those children will have to wait until I get to straighten myself out.

Eighth on that list is -- take note of this -- write a love song *squirming in my seat right now*. I believe the song I was crazy about at that time is "Paperbag" by Fiona Apple. Songs like "Paperbag" make me want to write one myself that is just as good, or even better, even if I’m not really a songwriter. I am not even close to being a songwriter. In fact, I have stopped denying to myself that I will never be a songwriter. But I still do intend to write a song, though. A nice love song. And I think I am going to write it in Cebuano.

Seventh on that list of mine is skydive/bungee jump. Right now I’m having second thoughts. Not because I’m too chicken shit to skydive and/or bungee jump but because I do not see the possibility of me being able to do either in the future. It just seems like there’s a lot of work involved, and for something which requires a lot of work, I usually need my friends to want to do it also. I guess I just need to propose that sort of thing to them one of these days -- when we’re finally accomplished individuals and before most of them could get married and have children and be an invalid for life.

Sixth is master a musical instrument. Right now I’m practicing the guitar. I’m still fumbling with the instrument, but I am improving on my "If We Hold on Together." Before I tried the harmonica but my niece broke it.

Fifth is sketch in precision. There was a point when I got crazy about doing portraits of people in pencil. I even bought different shades of Staedtler pencils one time. It’s frustrating. I want to draw someone’s face ‘precisely’ and ‘life-likely,’ but it ends up as a cheap work, like some homage to those Tagalog Romance novels of which the person on the cover is Justin Timberlake, but it really just looks like Justin Timberlake.

Fourth on the list that I came up with is give parents a huge sum of money so they can start some sort of business and have my little brother and sister finish school. This is an entirely different story, and if I go into this further right now I may kill myself.

Third is write and direct a movie. This is one of the impossible things one could ever wish for. But I am keeping an open mind. I will get to write and direct a movie, even if I have to sleep my way to have this realized. (There. Punchline.)

Second on that list is win a palanca. At this point, I’m feeling a lump in my throat. I have just realized that the closer I get to my first goal, the more unattainable the goal is.

First on my list is fall in love.

See! Impossible. Pakshet!